Some Reflections on Fish, Hospitality and Proverbs

Searching for another excuse to procrastinate recently (the old ones were looking a bit jaded) I decided to look up the origins of a Danish proverb my mother’s fond of quoting: ‘Fish and guests stink after three days.’

Its pithy wisdom has always intrigued me, and I wondered where the maxim came from.

Needless to say, I ended up down the inevitable internet rabbit holes. But, I’d argue, this was time well spent!

Finding wisdom in unusual places

The adage ‘Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days’, a variant of my mum’s proverb, is often attributed to Benjamin Franklin.

Franklin – newspaper editor, inventor and American founding father – was known for the witty proverbs that he published in his Poor Richard’s Almanack. He sourced many of these from common sayings, Native American traditions and the works of other writers. Often adapting them to the contemporary needs of 18th century America.

It’s not clear where he found this particular one. But the 16th-century writer John Lyly employed the phrase, ‘Fish and Guests in three days are stale’ in his prose romance, Euphues – the Anatomy of Wit, published in 1578.

Setting the time machine controls back to the days of medieval Italy, we find that there’s an old Italian saying: ‘L’ospite è come il pesce: dopo tre giorni puzza.’ Which translates as ‘The guest is like fish: after three days it stinks.’

It appears that the saying dates back to Ancient Roman playwright Titus Maccius Plautus. Plautus argued that a guest became hateful after three days of living in your home. And after ten days also became a nuisance to the servants!

This must have been a bold step in those times as it flatly contradicted the ancient Greco-Roman concept of hospitality as a divine right of the guest and divine duty of the host. A time when violation by the host of this duty of hospitality was likely to provoke the wrath of the gods.

Observing the boundaries

But, let’s be honest, hospitality does have its limits. After a while, as this fascinating article explores, it feels like houseguests are disrupting our routines and invading our personal space. So, they need to be mindful not to overstay their welcome. And certainly not abuse a host’s generosity with boorish or unpleasant behaviour.

And, let’s not forget the fish. It does, of course, eventually go off (even with the invention of the fridge!).

This tale is also a reminder of the power of proverbs. They seem to be all around us. And their brevity, profundity and endurance are a testament to their ability to reflect some essential meaning about life in a concise, easily understandable form.

People won’t forget how you made them feel

But getting back to my mum.

Fish have played a major role in the Danish people’s diet going back at least to the Viking Age.

In parallel, hospitality played a major role in Viking cultural traditions. Partly because it was a way of extending human courtesy to strangers and could be reciprocated when times got hard. But also because of the Viking belief that the gods would occasionally visit people in human form. Mistreating a guest therefore risked offending a god. Not something to do lightly!

I hasten to add that my mum is an excellent host. Consciously (or unconsciously) continuing these fine traditions. Though I’m always mindful not to stay too long…

Photo by karen kayser on Unsplash